Dove, Inc.

Domestic Violence Training Experience

2012-02-24T07:28:00.003-08:00

I recently was able to attend the Domestic Violence training in Bloomington with the Mid Central Community Action’s Neville House staff. There were over twenty people at the training and it was an incredible learning experience. Upon arriving I lacked little knowledge about the dynamics of domestic violence and I left with a powerful understanding of the effects domestic violence leaves on not only the victim but the surrounding family, children and even pets.

The training was rich with information from survivor stories to important films, activities and discussions. One of the most powerful films I saw during the training was of a woman who had been battered both physically and emotionally by her husband and it was filmed by her eldest son. To witness such a horrific account of someone being mistreated cut to the core of me. No one should have to experience that but yet millions of victims do experience that everyday.

There is a bright side to this horror which is the domestic abuse survivors who are able to share their story. These stories taught me a few things:

Always meet the victim where they are and do not judge them for going back to the abuser. There are many complex reasons for victims to stay with their abuser and as family, friends and professionals we need to be supportive of their decisions but encourage safety precautions first and foremost.
Emotional abuse is just as hurtful as physical violence. Bruises heal, whereas emotional scars hurt a victim’s self-esteem and self-worth which takes much longer to heal from and makes it harder to leave the abuser.
Safety planning with a victim is the most important thing you can do with them. Knowing they have the option to leave when they are in danger is an incredibly powerful tool you can give them that will help empower the victim.

I feel grateful and blessed I was able to attend such a wonderful training and I encourage those in the Decatur area who are wanting to understand the dynamics behind domestic violence to attend Dove’s forty hour training session on April 30^th, May 2^nd, 3^rd, 7^th, 9^th and 10^th from 8:00am to 5:00pm.

You can make a difference in the lives of victims and their children. You can be the advocate that refers victims to Dove in your workplace and community to get them the help they need. With this training you can also volunteer alongside Dove staff in the areas of legal advocacy, children’s programming, and hotline or shelter coverage. Please call 217-428-6616 for more information.

April Burgener - Receptionist

Healthy Love

2012-02-17T07:40:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone had a great Valentine’s Day! With all this talk of love and relationships, it makes us think: what is the definition of healthy love? We know it’s not all about flowers and chocolate but nurturing the relationship throughout the entire year so you can celebrate Valentine’s Day with a significant other.

Here are a few “healthy love” characteristics:

Each person allows for the individuality of their partner.
Bringing out the best qualities in their partner and vise versa.
Each partner has the ability to accept endings, if necessary.
Experiencing openness to change in the individual and the relationship.
Inviting and encouraging growth in their partner.
Experiencing true intimacy in the relationship physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.
Being able to experience giving and receiving in the same manner.
Not attempting to control or change the other person.
Not being dependent on their partner for happiness, but simply wanting to be with each other.
Not seeking unconditional love. This type of love is parental love. Parents accept any behavior from a child and will still love them. Adults need to be treated with dignity in order to stay in a relationship.
Enjoying solitude and togetherness.
Expressing feelings freely.

We hope that your relationship is full of “healthy love” during this Valentine’s week and all throughout the year!

Help Available for Teens and Young Adults

2012-02-10T08:53:00.000-08:00

If you’ve had a young child in school in Macon or Dewitt counties in the last couple of decades, there’s a pretty good chance you’re familiar with Dove’s Babes’ program.

But did you know that our domestic violence program also has a staff person who goes into the schools to educate junior high and high school students about healthy relationships and domestic violence?

Joyce Kirkland, Youth Services Specialist, has been doing just that for the last 11 and a half years. “The highest rates of domestic violence fall into the age range of 16 to 25,” she stated during a breakfast addressing community members.

The fact is that one out of four young people will experience some form of dating violence in their teenage years, and over half of those victims are more likely to reach out to a friend than a parent. Unfortunately their peers don’t always know the resources, or how to help someone who’s in a violent relationship, which is where Joyce comes into the picture.

Joyce often acts as a bridge between teens and their parents, helping parents to understand what the young adult is going through and how they can help, and helping teens understand the severity of consequences that can be involved in staying in a violent or unhealthy relationship.

Though it’s difficult, she advises parents not to forbid their child from seeing the significant other, because this will only result in alienating the child and cutting off effective communication. “The best way is to express concern, but not get in their faces about it…and letting them know your door is open,” she says.

At Dove, teens under the age of 17 can receive up to five sessions of counseling without parental consent due to the mental health law, and can also call the 24-hour crisis line and remain anonymous if they are needing to speak with someone.

If you want to know more, please call 428-6616, or visit http://www.doveinc.org.

Difficult times call for difficult measures

2012-02-03T08:38:00.000-08:00

Difficult times call for difficult measures. For many people this is what our current economy is speaking to them. Difficult measures can mean households growing as relatives move back in together and share the expenses. For others it means looking for assistance for the first time in their lives. Then there are those who are just throwing their hands up and giving up under the pressure.

Wherever individuals may find themselves in this difficult economic season one thing they don’t need to loose is their dignity. I don’t currently know too many people that are living so well that they will never have to ask for help. I also believe if you are trying to go at life alone you may be a very lonely person.

If I look back at how we were designed as humans it is a design toward living in community with one another. We were not meant to go at it alone. So then the question should be, if someone on our community is in a season of need how do we respond? This question can really conger opposing conversation toward a solution. Some might say just meet the need. Others might declare survival of the fittest. Believe me I’ve been combatted with both sides.

What we should be looking at is what is best for the overall health of the community. Will this assistance solve the situation, or is there an element of the community which may require change. Simply put you cannot cover up a problem without looking at what is causing the problem. This does take more work from the other members of the community but the health of the community depends on it.

Here in Decatur I have come to know many community members who want nothing more than to bolster the health of our community. Every day I see these people walking beside individuals who have fallen into a season of difficulty. Being offer is assistance in the moment and referrals to agencies for long term assistance. When we can speak into and strengthen the greatest need of our community we will maintain a greater overall health.

As I write this today I have been reviewing the names of those families MAX has grown to know during my time here and I am convinced we are heading in the right direction. From bus passes jobs are found. When jobs are found clothing vouchers are given for work clothes. Housing assistance is found with another phone call, all steps on a road to recovery from a difficult time. Dignity is kept and friendships are forged during what some would say could have been a very dark spot in their life.

Yes, difficult times do call for difficult measures! I believe the most difficult task we have is to re-define what we see as a success. Is it how to make it alone in life? Or is it focusing on the health of the entire community?

Rev. Dr. Stacey Brohard

MAX Coordinator

MAX assists those in need with one-time emergency financial assistance. Stacey has served as the MAX Coordinator for a year now. MAX is housed and supported by Decatur First United Methodist Church and is implemented by many volunteers. Monies are distributed through gifts from churches and individuals.

Planned endings, planned beginnings.

2012-01-27T10:16:00.000-08:00

Planned endings, planned beginnings. We at Dove have been busy with celebrating the retirement of Ray Batman, former Executive Director of Dove and Jim Walters, joining the staff in November as the new Executive Director.

Last night, we had a Meet and Greet for Jim. Jim has been active meeting folks in the community, but the Meet and Greet was an opportunity for those who had not met Jim yet to do so. We are glad so many of you stopped by!

We’re excited about moving forward in the months to come. One thing about working at Dove, there are many solid programs working with individuals and families in the community, but there is always something new around the corner. We are ready to see what’s next!

Barb Blakey, Director of Volunteers and Community Relations

Get to Know Jim! (Dove's new Executive Director)

2012-01-20T08:44:00.000-08:00

Age: I’ll be 45 in March

Family: Married to Brandy Mae. Four daughters Murphy 17, Micah 15, Hazel 2, & Isley 1 month

What you like best about your position at Dove: The amazing collection of people who work at Dove. I think in many ways it is the job of the administrator to create an environment to help the staff be successful. Staff success equals good, consistent client services. Dove exists to serve the community.

What you like best about working in Decatur & surrounding communities: When I was in the process of transitioning to Decatur the one thing people constantly told me was that it was a caring/giving community. That has certainly been my experience. I’ve been so impressed to see how the community works together.

Person who has had the biggest influence on you and why: When I grew up – all I wanted to be was Walter Payton. Since then, my life has been blessed with amazing teachers, clergy, co-workers and friends. But today I would say my biggest influence was my dad. Sadly, I didn’t fully appreciate it when he was alive. But as I get older I marvel at his work ethic, unselfishness, and dedication to family. Today, I try to take those values and apply them to my work and family.

What you hope to accomplish at Dove: It all starts with the mission – to meet unmet human needs. Those needs change over time. I hope to create programs flexible enough to meet these ever changing needs.

Favorite stress reliever: You can’t tell by looking at me, but I am a gym rat. Love to go to the gym and get my sweat on!

Favorite movie: American Beauty, 007 (Pierce Bronson is my favorite James Bond), Urban Cowboy. I won’t see any movie staring Ben Affleck.

Favorite book: Captain Saturday by Robert Inman

Interested to learn more and meet Jim in person? Join us Thursday, January 26^th at the Dean Simcox Conference Center (302 S. Union St) from 3:00pm until 6:00pm to meet and greet Jim Walters! Enjoy refreshments and welcome Jim to Dove and the community!

Annual Point in Time Survey

2012-01-17T07:34:00.000-08:00

The annual Point in Time survey will be held on Thursday January 26^th. What is the Point in Time survey? This is an important survey as The Housing and Urban Development (HUD) requires Continuums of Care to conduct an annual count of the homeless within that Continuum over a 24 hour period during the last week in January. HUD then uses this information to determine the need and characteristics of homelessness around the country.

Dove’s Homeward Bound program leads the count process for Macon County by securing volunteers to administer surveys at various locations where homeless families and individuals might frequent. The locations range from the local library to viaducts and parks.

HUD’s definition of homeless has four categories;

1.) Literally homeless individuals/families

2.) Individuals/families who will imminently (within 14 days) lose their primary nighttime residence with no subsequent residence, resources or support networks

3.) Unaccompanied youth or families with children/youth who meet the homeless definition under another federal statute and three additional criteria

4.) Individuals/families fleeing or attempting to flee domestic violence with no subsequent residence, resources or support networks

These categories are then used in the report given to HUD. This information can also be used to assist in obtaining funding for the community, bring about community awareness and provides guidance for the Continuum of Care’s Homeless Advisory Council and Governing Board in decision making.

This year the count will be conducted beginning 12:01 a.m. and will end at 11:59 p.m. on January 26^th, 2012. Terry Cunningham is the Point in Time Coordinator and is currently in the process of contacting volunteers and conducting volunteer trainings. Please contact her if you would like to volunteer for a wonderful opportunity to help your community! Look for the results of this survey to be posted in March 2012!

Contact information: Terry Cunningham – email: tcunningham531@gmail.com phone: 217-972-4250

The Dream

2012-01-13T06:38:00.000-08:00

Forty-eight years ago a great man gave a great speech about having a dream in this country. In his dream, everyone was equal in America--regardless of their race. One man, in the midst of legally allowed and even encouraged segregation, had a dream that all of us, “will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.”

And while we have undoubtedly made some strides toward this dream of Reverend King’s, we are not all equal. We live in a society where there is still strong need for institutions such as Affirmative Action to try and help eliminate inequality and injustice against minority populations.

As we approach Martin Luther King Jr. Day this year, I can’t help but wonder how many people really understand why we celebrate it. I wonder how many people just ignore the message behind the holiday and simply revel in the fact they get a day off work or school. I wonder how many people take the dream seriously and strive to do their part in carrying on Dr. King’s message of hope, determination, and non-violence in seeking equality.

It is easy to sit back and say that it’s not your problem, that it doesn’t affect you, but truthfully, inequality and injustice affects all of us at some level or another. We as a society are only as great as the way we treat our most deprived of citizens--something King recognized.

I challenge you to make 2012 the year that you do something--anything--to make a difference in your community, to fight for equality and justice for those who may not be able to fight for themselves for any number of reasons. To make a difference and change lives. It’s something that Dove, Inc., does every day.

What will you contribute to the dream this year?

--Angie Williams, Administrative Specialist, Dove's Domestic Violence Program

Welcome!

2012-01-06T06:59:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the first installment of the Dove blog. Dove is a coalition of religious organizations, volunteers, and advocates that seeks to coordinate efforts to address unmet human needs and social injustices. Dove works for justice, equality and understanding among all people. This blog was created for those who share these values and want to have a positive impact on our community. This is a collaborative effort of staff, volunteers, and program participants. Our goal is to inform you about the inner workings at Dove and the challenges we face. We would like to think this will be an educational format that encourages discussion and action. Perhaps we may also entertain you along the way.

As you may know, I am new both to Dove and Decatur. The process of starting a new job and relocating has been exciting for me and my family. I’ve learned that Decatur is a caring community. People are active in their churches, schools, and across a variety of social service organizations. There is a sense of community pride unmatched anywhere I’ve lived before. I’ve also met many great supporters in Clinton and am looking forward visiting our offices in Moultrie and Shelby counties. These communities have been very generous to Dove. What has surprised me is how people know Dove. Some know us as a place for victims of domestic violence to seek safety; others know our commitment to help the homeless. Perhaps you donated a coat for our annual coat drive or you have utilized our recycling center. Maybe you know someone active in RSVP or your group of volunteers has completed a service project for us. You may be part of a neighborhood group organized by Dove and your child in elementary school certainly has interacted with our BABES program. Yes, Dove is all of these things. To learn more about the services Dove provides please visit our web-site at www.doveinc.org and become a fan of us on Facebook.

Thank you for following our blog and your interest in Dove. The staff here, almost 50 strong, is an amazing collection of dedicated advocates. Your interest in our programs, having the support of the community, provides all of us the motivation to face difficult challenges. At our core it is our belief in the mission to address unmet needs. God bless you all.

Jim Walters – Executive Director

Welcome!

2011-12-14T18:31:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Dove, Inc.'s blog! Dove, Inc. is a social service agency in central Illinois that

is a coalition of religious organizations, volunteers, and advocates that seeks to coordinate efforts to address unmet human needs and social injustices.

Dove works for justice, equality and understanding among all people.

Stay tuned for upcoming blog posts in 2012, and if you haven't already "liked" us on Facebook, please come do so! Hope to "see" you again soon.