Friday, February 23, 2018

Dove's Domestic Violence Education and Volunteer Training




Training is available for individuals interested in educating themselves on the issues surrounding domestic violence. The training will take place April 30 through May 16, Monday through Thursday afternoons from 1:00 to 5:00 p.m., in Decatur, at Dove, 302 S. Union, Dean Simcox Conference Room. This 40-hour training is approved by ICADV, Illinois Coalition Against Domestic Violence. This training is being facilitated by two Illinois Certified Domestic Violence Professionals, one of whom is also an Illinois Certified Partner Abuse Intervention Professional. There is a $150 fee for the training, with some scholarships available.



To register, contact Barbara Blakey at 217.428.6616. A phone interview starts the process and needs to take place by Noon, Monday, April 23.



Individuals interested in making a difference in the lives of victims and children served by Dove’s Domestic Violence Program are encouraged to participate in this training. Be an advocate for peace in your school, workplace or church. This extensive training program will allow you to volunteer in many areas, such as support group facilitation, legal advocacy and children's services. Dove provides services to Macon, Moultrie, Shelby, DeWitt and Piatt Counties.

Thursday, February 8, 2018

Look for the Signs

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. Here are a few signs to watch for:  


A person who is in a violent relationship often is:

afraid of her partner’s temper*
afraid to break up because her partner has threatened to hurt himself or others
constantly apologizing for or defending her partner’s behavior
afraid to disagree with her partner
isolated from family or friends
embarrassed in front of others because of her partner’s words or actions
intimidated by her partner and coerced into having sex


* Pronoun choices reflect the fact that over 95% of the perpetrators of domestic violence are male.
 


A person who exhibits violent behavior in a relationship often:


has an explosive temper
is possessive or jealous of his partner’s time, friends, and/or family
constantly criticizes his partner’s thoughts, feelings, or appearance
pinches, slaps, grabs, shoves, or throws things at his partner
coerces or intimidates his partner into having sex
blames his partner for his own anger
causes his partner to be afraid
uses tears and/or threats of suicide to manipulate any situation


Get Help


If you are involved in a violent relationship, there are options:
Get help from someone you trust, preferably an adult.
Go to the counseling center or nurse’s office at your school.
Call Dove’s crisis hotline, 217-423-2238.
Avoid alcohol and drug use.
End the relationship and choose not to see your partner.
Do something before the relationship gets worse or the violence increases.













Thursday, February 1, 2018

Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month: Moving from Terror to Hope and Healing


February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, which always makes me sad.   When I think of teens, I conjure up positive images of school, college applications, music and fashion, earning a driver’s license, crazy fun with friends, mood swings, that first crush, and steady growth into independence and adulthood - NOT violence and fear.  However, for many teens, dating violence is a terrifying reality.

 The statistics are staggering.  According to Love Is Respect, the National Teen Dating Violence Helpline, 1.5 million high school students experience physical abuse from a dating partner every year.  One in three adolescents in the U. S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner.  Use of technology to coerce, stalk, and blackmail teen partners is increasingly common in abusive teen relationships.  Girls and young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rates of intimate partner violence – almost triple the national average.  Victims of teen dating violence are at higher risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior, pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, additional domestic violence, and suicide, compared to girls and boys who are not abused.  Tragically, most teens who experience intimate partner violence never tell anyone – only 33% tell a family member or friend.  Parents and friends might see warning signs of abuse, but often feel helpless to protect the teen. 

The good news is that Dove Domestic Violence Program offers help and hope to teen dating violence victims and their families.  Dove provides prevention education in schools throughout DeWitt, Macon, Moultrie, Piatt, and Shelby counties, reaching teens with information on healthy relationships, teaching them the warning signs of an abuser, and informing them of their legal rights and of how to get help for themselves or a friend.  Dove provides crisis intervention for teens in abusive relationships, including assistance with orders of protection.  (In Illinois, an adult may seek an order of protection on behalf of a minor under the age of 18.  In most teen dating violence cases, parents or guardians seek the OP on behalf of their teen.)   Individual and family counseling is available to help teens and their parents do safety planning and cope with the danger, emotional trauma, and family disruption that occurs during and after an abusive relationship.  Dove’s hotline is the best way to access or inquire about services – 217-423-2238.  The hotline and all other Dove services are completely confidential.

There are simple things we all can do to address teen dating violence: 

  • If you are a parent, model a loving and respectful relationship at home – your children and teens are watching and learning from you.  Talk to your teens about important issues and let them know that you are always there when they need to talk.  If your teen comes to you with relationship concerns, take them seriously – abusive teen relationships can be dangerous.  If your daughter or son is being abused, believe her/him, know that this is not your teen’s fault, and seek help - contact Dove’s hotline (217-423-2238).  Dove staff can discuss options with you and assist with orders of protection, counseling, and other services.  (If the situation is an emergency, call 911 first and contact Dove for follow-up assistance.)
  • If you are a teen whose partner is abusive, TELL SOMEONE!  Make sure your friends know what is happening, but more importantly, tell a trusted adult, like Mom or Dad, a counselor or favorite teacher at school – someone who can seek help for you.  You deserve to be treated with respect – an abusive relationship is not your fault and is never acceptable!
  • If you are a concerned friend or relative, talk to the teen.  Although your offer of help may be rejected at first, you have planted a seed of information and hope; the teen may reach out to you later for help.
  • If you want to know more about teen dating violence or to schedule prevention education for a class or youth organization, call Dove’s hotline (217-423-2238).

Teen dating violence is something that no teen should experience.  However, Dove’s prevention education and crisis intervention services ensure that information, help, hope, and healing are available for all teens.

Joyce Kirkland

Youth and Family Services Coordinator

Dove Domestic Violence Program

 

 

Want to know more about teen dating violence? 
Here are some great resources!

Update from the Domestic Violence Program

A victim of domestic violence faces many challenges, however, during these times with COVID-19, they are faced with even more barriers.  ...