Friday, October 19, 2018

27th Annual Coats for Kids!

2018 Coats for Kids drive has begun and we will be collecting new and good, used coats for families in need through November 30. Participating Cleaners will make sure the coats are clean and fresh and ready for the clothing rooms to distribute. (All addresses Decatur unless noted otherwise.)
 
WAND and Dove have teamed up each year to collect the coats!  The clean or new coats are taken to participating clothing rooms for families to choose. 
 
Donate and make it a warmer winter for everyone!

 


 



Participating Cleaners


Classic Cleaner, 2474 N. Main

 
Peerless Cleaners, 519 N. Monroe

 
Pride Cleaners and Launderers

  • 2553 N. Main
  • 1804 E. Eldorado
  • 912 W. Eldorado
  • 2056 Mt. Zion Road

Waite's Dry Cleaners and Launderers

  • 1004 S. Main, Decatur
  • 664 W. Eldorado
  • 115 Magnolia, Forsyth


Drop off sites

Decatur Public Library, 130 N. Franklin

 
Decatur Township Offices, 1620 S. Taylorville Road

 
Good Samaritan Inn, 920 N. Union

 
GT Church, 500 S. 27th
 



Illiopolis Christian Church, 302 Anne Street, Illiopolis

 
Kroger

  • Brettwood Plaza
  • South Shores Plaza
  • Airport Plaza

Land of Lincoln Credit Union

  • 2890 N. Oakland
  • 3130 E. Mound
  • 4850 E Prosperity Place

Longcreek Township, 2610 Salem School Road

 
Regions

  • 2340 Mt. Zion Rd.
  • 350 N. Water
  • 1355 W. King
  • 333 E. Pershing Rd

Richland Community College, #1 College Park, Decatur

 
Soy Capital Bank and Trust

  • 560 E. Pershing
  • 455 N. Main
  • 4825 US Route 36




St. Teresa High School, 2710 N. Water Street





Texas Roadhouse, US 51 North


WAND, 902 Southside Drive



Friday, October 12, 2018

Home Should Never Hurt


I was recently driving home on a beautiful fall evening, one of those days when a perfect blue sky was giving way to a beautiful sunset.  As I admired the glorious colors of fall as evening approached, I also noticed the warm lights coming from neighborhood houses, making them all look inviting.  I pulled into my driveway and felt that familiar feeling………………it feels so good to be home.  Home should be that place where everyone is comfortable and knows that they are loved and wanted and accepted.  Sometimes the chaos of dinner, homework, ballgames, housework can intrude on the peacefulness of home, but even with that, Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz was right……………. . there’s no place like home.

Unless……. you live in a home where domestic violence exists.  When you live there, you probably drive home without noticing the beauty around you.  You are not anticipating being at home with joy; you face it with fear.  What am I walking into?  What have I done wrong today? ……I don’t think there was anything, but I am sure there will be.  No one feels comfortable, loved, wanted or accepted.  This environment is difficult for everyone, but especially for children.  Kids are often afraid to have friends over because they have no clue what may happen in their home.  They can’t concentrate on homework, so they fall behind at school.  Meals are chaotic or sometimes non-existent, so they may go to bed hungry.  Sleep deprivation is common because they may be afraid to fall asleep or awakened by an incident of abuse.  Studies show that being subjected to trauma at a young age can alter the normal brain development of a child.  Sometimes these kids become bullies at school or become the victims of bullies.  Unless their living conditions become known to the school their teachers may never know what is causing their inability to concentrate, to stay awake in class or to learn as other kids do.  It is difficult, if not impossible, to learn when you are hungry, tired, angry or traumatized.

Domestic violence is a crime that happens in the home.  It has long been considered to be the business only of the people who live in the home.  Friends and neighbors notice signs, but traditionally have ignored them.  Ignoring the violence is not the answer.  Domestic violence is everyone’s business.  If you hear or see evidence of abuse, call law enforcement.  A victim may not want to talk about the abuse but let he or she know that you care and are available if needed.  Befriend the children of the family so that they know you are a safe and caring adult.  Make referrals to your local domestic violence agency.  Join with us as we attempt to end domestic violence and to be sure that everyone has a safe, healthy and happy home.

 

Macon County                                 217-423-2238 (Crisis)                     217-428-6616 (Business)

Dewitt County                                 217-935-6072                                   217-035-6619

Moultrie County                              217-728-9334                                   217-728-9303

Piatt County                                     217-762-2122                                   217-762-2123

Shelby County                                  217-774-4888                                   217-774-3121

Susie Kensil
Shelby County Coordinator
Dove's Domestic Violence Program




Friday, October 5, 2018

Why?


“Why do they stay in that relationship?”  “What is wrong with them?!?”  “Do they like it??!!”   “You would think they would leave if they didn’t like it!!”   “Why would someone stay with a person who constantly puts them down, calls them names, hurts them over and over physically, emotionally and even sexually?”

Sound familiar??  There is no easy answer to these questions.  Sadly, these are thoughts and questions that some have about domestic violence victims.  How wrong they are in their way of thinking!!   I can guarantee we will never meet the victim who tells us they “liked it”!! 

I would like to challenge your way of thinking – instead of asking and dwelling on “Why do they stay or why don’t they leave”? – I would like to rephrase that question to “What are the barriers that are keeping them in that relationship?”

Think about when they first met.  Things could not have been better.  He/she was charming, affectionate, thoughtful, romantic, and respectful.  Things gradually began to change when one began to notice another person from the opposite sex looked at them.  They noticed a twinge of jealousy come over their partner.  Over time, one began having to justify their every move – where they were going, who with, when they’d be back, who they talked to, etc.  As their partner began to want every minute of their time, they realized they were having to cancel plans with their friends, family members, or perhaps certain activities they had always enjoyed – all because their partner made them feel like they should be spending their time with them – not everyone else.  Suddenly, they began to feel isolated and very alone.

Leaving an abusive relationship is the most dangerous time for a victim.  The abuser sees they are becoming independent and is losing control of them so they lash out even more.  There are so many barriers that keep a victim in the relationship.  Fear itself – knowing the abuser better than anyone, they know what the abuser is capable of doing.  Many religious and cultural beliefs make a victim’s decision to stay.  Often, the victim does not feel they deserve anyone better; they feel it is their responsibility to change the batterer and to nurture the relationship.  Statistics show that victims return to their abuser an average of 5-7 times before they leave for good.  The number one reason they return is hope for change.  The batterer is very good at making empty promises and pushing the right buttons. 

In recognition of National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I challenge all of you to become educated – learn about the dynamics that surround a domestic violence victim and their children!  How much do you know about this unjustifiable crime??  Did you know that every 9 seconds a woman is being beaten or that 50-70% of men who abuse their partners also abuse their children, or that 23% of female victims are pregnant.  Did you know that according to multiple studies that examine homelessness among mothers and children, that more than 80% had previously experienced domestic violence and that between 22-57% of all homeless women report that domestic violence was the immediate cause of their homelessness??

I am asking you all to make a determined effort to attend one of the Candlelighting Ceremonies in October in recognition of National Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  Take your stand against domestic violence in your communities.  Let your friends, family members, co-workers, and neighbors know that domestic violence is a crime and should NOT be tolerated. 

Times and dates are as follows are on the website and the previous blog post.

Teri Ducy
Domestic Violence Program Director

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