Where has the summer gone?
Suddenly, it’s the end of August, students are headed back to school,
and so am I. My life is about to get
very busy, because I spend much of the school year in high school and junior
high classrooms, sharing information about relationships, Dove, and its
services. It’s my favorite time of year!
As Dove’s Youth Services Specialist, I
work in the agency’s Domestic Violence Program, providing crisis and supportive
services and advocacy for adult and child clients. Each domestic violence staff member has an
area of specialty and mine is providing teen dating abuse prevention education,
advocacy, and support for teens and their families.
Research indicates that for 1 in 5 teen girls, the most
memorable event of her high school years will be abuse by a dating
partner. Although boys suffer less
physical abuse, both teen boys and girls endure emotional and psychological
abuse from dating partners. There are a number of factors that put teens at
high risk for abuse in dating relationships.
The teen years mark the beginning of serious adult dating relationships. During this time, teens are going through the
separation process with their parents as they transition into adulthood. As a result, many teens confide more in
friends than adults, and are much less likely to turn to their parents or other
adults for information or help. Add peer
pressure and misinformation to the mix, and it leaves teens vulnerable to
dangerous relationship beliefs and practices.
Most teens have little knowledge of their rights or of helping services
available to them and teens under 18 have limited access to legal and social
services without help from an adult. As
a result, many teens (both male and female) suffer in silence due to abuse by a
dating partner.
When I do teen dating abuse
prevention education, it is usually in high school or junior high Health class
settings, sometimes in a teen group connected to a youth agency or church. The presentations include role-plays,
interactive exercises, and critical thinking activities that engage the teens
in a non-threatening manner. We cover
healthy vs. abusive behaviors, warning signs of abusive partners, the pattern
of relationship abuse, how and where to access help, how to help a friend in an
abusive relationship, setting healthy boundaries with friends and dating
partners, and safety planning. We do
lots of myth-busting, such as: jealousy
does not equal love and love does not equal abusive and controlling
behavior. We talk about teens’ rights to
orders of protection and to up to five sessions of counseling without parental
permission. We discuss the reality that
some teens live with abuse at home and we discuss options for seeking safety
for oneself or offering it to a friend.
It’s my job to provide information, not tell teens what to do, so that
they can make their own informed decisions about relationships. If those decisions include seeking help for
an abusive relationship, that’s where I am available to provide counseling for
teen and parent, legal advocacy and help with orders of protection, safety
planning, and support.
Dove provides prevention education
in most high schools and some junior highs in DeWitt, Piatt, Macon, Moultrie,
and Shelby counties. To inquire about
teen dating abuse prevention education for your school or youth group, or to
seek individual teen or family services, contact me at (217) 428-6616 or call
Dove’s hotline at (217) 423-2238.
Joyce
Kirkland
Youth
Services Specialist
Dove
Domestic Violence Program
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