Skip to main content

Alternative Images for Men - Domestic Violence Men’s Group A Personal Perspective

AS we enter October and mark Domestic Violence Month, I remember my introduction to Dove’s program.  In the summer of 1980, I was the at-home parent for our two young daughters.  I responded to a knock on the door to find Larry Troy, a sociology professor from Millikin University, asking if I had an interest in working on a project investigating services for abusive men as part of the Dove Domestic Violence Program.  He knew I had a background on teaching communication skills and thought it might be helpful.

A small group of us met through that summer and decided to develop a curriculum to be presented to abusers to help them change their abusive behavior.  There was not a lot of research material available.  Active groups throughout the country did not begin to meet together until the mid-1980s in St. Louis to share their programs and results.  In the early 1980s we decided to push forward with what we had.  We announced we had a program for men and were in business.

The AIM group met in a small basement room in First Presbyterian Church where the Domestic Violence program had been meeting until they had moved to the small apartment shelter.  The first week Larry and I waited – and no one came.  The second week one man showed up.  His wife and children had left and he didn’t know what to do. He continued to come for eight weeks, but no one else did.  We covered anger management, the law, communication skills, responsibility, etc.  Very slowly other men came to the group since the program was not mandated at that point.

The program evolved as Larry left and then I left in the early 1990s. The AIM program began to utilize the Duluth Program from Duluth MN.  It was a successful 26-week program with videos, worksheets, roleplays and co-leaders, usually male and female to demonstrate equality decision making.  The program participants became mandated by the judicial system and the numbers increased.

I returned to the AIM group in 2003 when I retired.  We were regularly seeing 10 to 12 men at each weekly meeting with several different groups in Decatur and Clinton.  The groups sponsored by Dove continued until mid-2009 when they were suspended due to financial constraints.

During the time I was involved with AIM I personally interacted with over 800 abusive men in Macon and DeWitt County.  The work was very fulfilling and needed.  Quantifying results is difficult due to relationship breakups and lack of accurate feedback.  Over the years I have seen some of the men from the group at work and throughout the community and have heard their subsequent stories.  I continue to be an avid supporter of the Dove Domestic Violence Program.

Craig Mandernach


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You don't have to be able to Dance to do Baskets

  Growing up in the world of dance, one of my favorite things to do each year is participate in The Nutcracker Ballet. My favorite part? Giving the audience a magical Christmas experience with the perfect setting of lights, music, glittery costumes, and refined steps by ballerinas. The audience is transported to a magical land of sweets that makes even adults feel like small children in awe and wonder. Of course, that’s just what the audience sees! What they don’t see is the months and months before hand! Long rehearsals, bandage wrapped dance feet, and stage and tech crews working tirelessly so that every detail before the final show is perfected. After several years, I have started comparing the Christmas Baskets Process to that of the process for The Nutcracker Ballet. Starting months and months before, staff and volunteers work endlessly for the exhilarating distribution week to come. With that said, the magical essence of the Ballet experience cannot happen with just the prim
Post a Comment
Read more

A Woman of Dove's History

 March is Women’s History Month and during this month I want to acknowledge a woman who assisted Ray Batman in molding Dove, Inc. Not only was she a founder and volunteer, but her passion, dedication, and drive were so vital to building the stellar foundation that the organization stands on today. She may have been tiny in stature, but her presence was vast. She was eventually hired as the Program Director in 1974 and remained an active and avid supporter of Dove after retirement and up until her passing in 2014. Her “never take no for an answer” attitude assisted with building collaborations that are still matched today.  She was extremely instrumental in the organization of a multitude of community-related programs throughout the city of Decatur. This includes the Nationally Renowned Mother-to-Mother program, a programming concept that has been widely adopted across the country. Sue’s presence still shines through those of us who have come along beside her. Her commitment to resolvin
Post a Comment
Read more

CoC Funds Available

CoC Funds Available The Decatur/Macon County CoC announces approved Consolidated Application for the FY 2024 CoC Program Competition. Review the Approved Consolidated Application and Approved Priority Listings and all New and Referral Project Listings at the link above. For Comments or Questions about the Approved Application, email fredspannaus@gmail.com.
Post a Comment
Read more